A word of advice to change this viewpoint: start forgetting assumptions like “sexual relation equals intercourse” or “this leads to…”, “it’s a first step toward…”, “the early stage of…”, all of which arise from an excessively coital perception of sexuality still prevailing in today’s society. Two main sex-related stances have coexisted throughout history: one upholds that foreplay is totally unnecessary for a couple’s enjoyment; the other is the total opposite, as it deems such stage essential. The former standpoint has been commonplace in mainstream society, while the latter was backed by a few male initiates, since women have always known and felt that the longer the preliminaries, the more pleasure they receive. Unlike women, men don’t need foreplay Since women’s sexuality and fulfillment are taken into account, most people assure that foreplay is important in a sexual relationship, as they have been able to establish that even if a woman can enjoy coitus she finds it “hard” to get aroused and have an orgasm just with vaginal penetration. Consequently –and obviously– a woman needs more time to take full delight in a sexual union. That “preparation” includes the so-called preliminaries. Some who have gone as far as to do calculations say that men can skip foreplay and still climax about two minutes after penetration, whereas women require an average eight minutes of foreplay and must copulate for at least another eight before they reach orgasm. Given those figures, the role of caressing and foreplay in a pleasant, gratifying union between two individuals is easy to understand. The art of caressing Learning to caress and be caressed is a very important thing which we must not restrict to the ordinary erogenous zones, since our skin is made up of a myriad sensitive points waiting to be gradually discovered. Hair: Stroking the scalp pleasantly relaxes the body in the beginning of the sexual relationship.
Ears:
The lobes and the outer and rear areas of the ear grow more sensitive
during foreplay. Mouth and tongue: As we get excited, our lips grow more sensitive, while the tongue provides for active play with various body spots. Nape, neck and shoulders: These are especially sensitive areas that we can stroke gently or work on with the mouth to make our partner shiver with pleasure. Underarms and the inside of the forearms: An extension of the mammary line, they must be stroked very softly to produce a pleasant sensation, but tickling must be avoided. Fingers: Its many nerve endings help us feel the texture, shape and surface of things, which make them a very suitable means to explore our partner’s body. Inside of the elbows: A secondary, slow-perception spot, useful only if combined with other areas. Waist and hips: They can be caressed by turns gently and intensely. Back: Flanking our spine are some nerves that can be stimulated to great effect with our hands or mouth, always upwards or downwards. The most sensitive area is right in front of the sacrum. Perineum: The region between the scrotum and the anus in males, and between the vulva and the anus in females, is sensitive to manual stimulation. Anus: A highly responsive spot –in men and women alike– whose stimulation makes the whole orgasmic platform all the more sensitive. Sexual organs: More complex in women than they are in men. We must bear in mind that all women are different, so we need to learn about every one of them on an individual basis. The clitoris is by far a woman’s top-of-the-range source of orgasmic pleasure, in fact more important than even the G-spot. Tailoring physical intimacy to each subject is the only rule of the game here. Being tender and solicitous is generally important, depending on how sensitive the caressed area can be. Some women, however, would rather be touched with relative firmness; others have no use for any caressing because of the intense arousal it sparks off around certain zones. They find all kinds of physical contact too unbearable. In case you didn’t know, it pays to start slowly and softly, though you can always ask what they like best. The inside of a woman’s vagina is rarely caressed, but nevertheless an organ in need of more frequent contact. No wonder it “awakes” slowly to pleasure, and many women complain as a result that they are too insensitive “there” to reach orgasm. And that’s par for
the course: before they are brought to a climax they need to learn how
to enjoy the pleasure of togetherness and mutual physical contact, for
which you need time, since a single experience is seldom enough. The
vagina is far and away sensitive to firm pressure –such as that caused
by a body’s weight– and appreciative of lingering caresses instead of
the lighter, faster stimulation we favor to spice up the clitoris. Now, how to caress a man? If you draw a mental picture of a target where the bull’s-eye is the man’s most sensitive spot, in it you would find the frenum of the glans, the most responsive to pleasure and the richest in nerve centers that best pick up the delightful sensations of sex. Then comes the crown, a ring-like area between the skin of the glans and its mucous, pinker area, and at a third level the glans proper, followed by the shaft, the testicles, and the zone surrounding the anus. A cylindrical mass of spongy tissue that runs beneath the penis, the shaft is particularly receptive to direct touching. It’s usually soft, even in erection, and fond of a vigorous, energetic massage. Summing-up for him and her It’s all about being tactful and skilled. The more sensitive you are in a given zone, the softer the caressing should be. Watch out, though: despite any generalizations, all bodies are different. Maybe your partner
likes to be caressed unlike others. Hence, exchanging views is paramount
if you really want to please one another. Needless to say, your hands
are natural instruments that you should put to good use, but don’t
forget that you also have a body to use for good measure. The best caress is likely to come from your mind. Indeed, as you caress the body you love, make a point of using your voice as well with words of admiration –about beauty, tenderness, what you like– and arousing phrases of love –about your desire and the pleasure he/she gives you… And then, consider asking your loved one if he/she wants more or in a different way (slower, faster, stronger…) Your words will no doubt multiply the effect of your manual or bodily caressing. And remember: within the boundaries of love and its realization, you and only you are a beginner and a master at the same time. To what extent you and your partner fully enjoy your relationship is up to you. ---ooOoo---
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