Violence (I)
World campaign against gender
violence ends tomorrow
On the occasion
of this campaign, the section Sexo Sentido proposes to reflect on and
address this issue from a masculine viewpoint.
By:
Mairim Silva Rodríguez
and Mileyda Menéndez Dávila
e-mail:
corresp@jrebelde.cip.cu
December 9, 2006 -
22:05:59 GMT
“Leave him alone, he’s gotta learn to be a man”
http://www.juventudrebelde.cu/secciones/sexosentido/portadasexo.html
Starting at age two, boys and girls start to learn gender roles they observe in adults or take from their peers: norms that «complement» their natural qualities as sexed beings.
In this regard, the traditional manliness-development process is usually violent in many ways inasmuch as it involves the arbitrary imposition of a set of stereotyped, damaging and humiliating cultural rules designed to amputate characteristics inherent in every person.
Absurdly
considered as womanly, traits like being sensible, tender and prone to
express physical pain, among other features, tend to be repressed in males
or replaced by others more closely linked with strength and power.
Small
wonder then that the physical and mental health of teenagers raised under an
out-and-out macho regime end up deeply hurt mainly when the boy fails to
meet the standards of roughness or hegemonic masculinity they are held to
abide by.
That is when the violence they are «supposed» to display may turn against them and give rise to feelings of loneliness, rejection and shame to the detriment of their psycho-social insertion.
Not only do they become the object of physical or verbal abuse for being deemed different from a social standpoint, some people go as far as to avoid them and prevent other children of their own age from mixing with them.
Such was the topic developed by Dr. Carlos Manuel Rodríguez Aguiar, First-Degree Specialist in Child Psychiatry, in a thesis for a Master’s Degree in Sexuality.
As was shown in his studies, these so-called «weak» boys are so bewildered by mockery, discrimination or reproach that they think nobody loves them. Deep down they are no more and no less manly than their peers. It’s too early in their lives to say otherwise.
EDUCATION ON EQUAL TERMS
Gender identity and sexual orientation are not a straightjacket forced upon you at birth. Measuring «manhood» on the basis of an organ’s size, the tone of your voice or how tough you are on others is a big mistake.
The teenagers Dr. Rodríguez studied assured him that they see themselves as masculine even though they don’t fill society’s «bill», a result much in line with other international research.
According to the Spanish expert on sexual distinction Antonio Becerra, only 2% of those who show early-age transsexual features keep that trend as adults, and another equally small percent of them choose homosexuality over heterosexuality, even if they empathize with their assigned physical gender.
However, the fact that males are required to be more aggressive often leads to depression, anxiety and other neuroses, including the potential risk of suicidal impulses, is bound to scar a psyche in the making and therefore harms their overall health.
Families, and especially parents, are pivotal in that they provide the values an individual needs to fit into the community and therefore play a key role in the formation of his/her character.
How people will perform within society depends on their education, so we must give them as much support as possible and create social and cultural conditions which are conducive to their healthy development.
Any country’s judicial system and healthcare institutions have a lot to say about the sequels of a violent behavior some people adopt at a very early age as a means to their end in life.
Many families try so hard to prevent their sons from looking «girlish» that sometimes those children find it hard to even look human. Being merciful to the weak, be they people or animals, is not an entry a boy will ever find in a how-to for would-be tough guys.
Only through coeducation and non-sexist, gender-oriented socializing practices can this problem be tackled and this form of violence which men learn very early in their lives, often as observers or victims, just waiting for the right time to measure their strength against somebody else's.
Communication is central to teaching boys respect for others, how to cope with their own mistakes, and where to go when expert guidance is needed or a problem has to be solved.
There’s neither antidote nor cure for this evil. The solution is within ourselves, for us to find if we understand that we sometimes pave the way for violence, something to be avoided as we raise our children.
Controlling our negative impulses and enriching our personalities with new values are two positive actions we can put into practice. Add a dash of love for good measure and we will contribute to fostering peace in our society.
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VIOLENCE CAN HAVE MANY FORMS A social, certainly unjustifiable problem as well as a health condition, violence raises its ugly head in all countries without making any distinction as to age, educational level or socio-economic status. It can be expressed in many ways, ranging from silence to physical mistreatment, but different though they may be, they all lacerate dignity and cause damages beyond repair in the mental health of both victims and victimizers. Gender violence is one of those ways, a culture learned either from family or social models or through a machismo-based education that starts from the cradle. Substance abuse and smoking can be other triggering factors. Among the various expressions of this phenomenon are physical, psychological and sexual aggression. The latter includes child abuse, rape and harassment. Some of its most noticeable consequences are: injury and trauma, depression, low self-esteem, insecurity, sexual dysfunction and the desire for revenge. Victimized women become submissive and even tend to reject their children or have unwanted ones. Suffering or witnessing violence as a child or a teenager lays the foundation for psychological problems, emotional and sleeping disorders, anorexia, isolation, or impaired learning. Many eventually reproduce aggressiveness within family or social circles. People who resort to violence also suffer its negative impact, since they feel inferior, impotent, depressed, anxious, repentetd, guilty and/or insecure, and furthermore are rejected by their family as much as by society. In either case, suicide is a possibility, more common among women and teenagers, whereas men usually adopt a homicidal-suicidal conduct. |
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