TO HITCHHIKE IS AN ART
by Puppy Catello                                        
Tribuna de la Habana, February 13, 2005

[Tribuna is the newspaper of the Provincial Committee
of the Communist Party of Cuba in Havana province.]

Although hitchhiking is an everyday practice, not everyone who practices it does it in a  let’s say… professional way. I’m an old hand at it and, if you are interested, follow some of my advice. Results will speak for themselves.

If for starters you think, “I don’t have the nerve” or “I’m not lucky”; don’t even try it, because you’ll fail. Negative thinking will show in your face, your body language, your voice. Drivers prefer a smile than a grin full of the tension of everyday life. Driving is stressful: when you ask for a ride, don’t yell. Use your softest voice and don’t say, “Driver, driver”; because with that word you have just changed the profession of a doctor, a lawyer or a business manager.

Don’t ever ask a conductor where he is going, or if he will be passing by this or that place. That is none of your business.

Basic stuff: say hello, good morning, etc. Red lights last long enough to allow for elementary courtesy.   

Then they will say yes

Experienced hitchhikers are second -- rather multiple—offenders in their actions. If it is true that we remember who we have asked for a ride, drivers don’t easily forget whom they give a ride to. Carry a lighter in your purse. It doesn’t matter if you don’t smoke. But if they run out of matches or cannot find them when they need them, your offering a light will forever be thanked.

Another most important topic is conversation. It must be spontaneous. If you are facing a laconic driver with furrowed brows, speak to him…but moderately. Don’t talk about the weather or the temperature outside; commonplace topics suggest poor communication skills. Move up a notch and fire up your imagination! Try telling him, that thanks to his generosity, you’ll be in time for a meeting or for picking up your child at the nursery. Such a positive evaluation of his contribution will strengthen his ego. If despite these efforts you find no response whatsoever, keep your mouth shut or he may drop you off a few blocks before reaching destination.

A good practice is to look at the vehicle logo. And don’t you forget to do it. If the car has a  Poder Popular [Local Government]) logo, talk about the ongoing local council election; if the car belongs to Copextel [suppliers of technical wares], make it clear they are your favorite brand; but if the car has a CITMA [State Agency for Science and the Environment] logo, take a deep breath, wait a few seconds and  declare prophetically, “Planet Earth is a living being, and Man with its reckless behavior is causing the destruction of our beloved  planet. Just think of the recent tsunamis in the Indian Ocean. What a sad example!” If the driver didn’t totally understand your statement, at least it will guarantee the next ride.  ETECSA [Telephone and Telecommunications Company] cars frequently give street hikers a ride. If they stop for you, praise the extension of services that now allow you to communicate with your uncle Joe who lives in a farm near The Middle of Nowhere.

There are many logo acronyms whose meanings are known by only a selected few. If such is the case talk to the driver about noni [a fruit said to have over a hundred  curative qualities], about the properties of the poison of the blue scorpion, or simply discuss the last topic in Pasaje a lo Desconocido [A Step Into the Unknown - popular TV show].

Hitchhiking is an exercise that widens your circle of friends and consolidates mutual  feelings. My two marriages are proof of this. Certainly each person has their own style and adds a personal touch when asking for a ride. And you, dear driver, if someone comes near your car window, says ‘hello’ in a soft voice and with a smile asks you, “Please, would you give me a ride?”, don’t say no. It is probably me asking.        

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CubaNews translation February 15, 2005

http://www.plenglish.com/article.asp?ID={971ACB95-5824-44F1-8032-106AE58AB221}&language=EN
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