TO HITCHHIKE IS AN ART
by Puppy Catello
Tribuna de la Habana, February 13, 2005
[Tribuna
is the newspaper of the
Provincial Committee
of the Communist Party of Cuba in Havana province.]
Although hitchhiking is an everyday practice, not everyone who practices it
does it in a let’s say… professional way. I’m an old hand at it and, if you are
interested, follow some of my advice. Results will speak for themselves.
If for starters you think, “I don’t have the nerve” or “I’m not lucky”; don’t
even try it, because you’ll fail. Negative thinking will show in your face, your
body language, your voice. Drivers prefer a smile than a grin full of the
tension of everyday life. Driving is stressful: when you ask for a ride, don’t
yell. Use your softest voice and don’t say, “Driver, driver”;
because with that word you have just changed the profession of a doctor, a
lawyer or a business manager.
Don’t ever ask a conductor where he is going, or if he will be passing by this
or that place. That is none of your business.
Basic stuff: say hello, good morning, etc. Red lights last long enough to allow
for elementary courtesy.
Then they will say yes
Experienced hitchhikers are second -- rather multiple—offenders in their
actions. If it is true that we remember who we have asked for a ride, drivers
don’t easily forget whom they give a ride to. Carry a lighter in your purse. It
doesn’t matter if you don’t smoke. But if they run out of matches or cannot find
them when they need them, your offering a light will forever be thanked.
Another most important topic is conversation. It must be spontaneous. If you are
facing a laconic driver with furrowed brows, speak to him…but moderately. Don’t
talk about the weather or the temperature outside; commonplace topics suggest
poor communication skills. Move up a notch and fire up your imagination! Try
telling him, that thanks to his generosity, you’ll be in time for a meeting or
for picking up your child at the nursery. Such a positive evaluation of his
contribution will strengthen his ego. If despite these efforts you find no
response whatsoever, keep your mouth shut or he may drop you off a few blocks
before reaching destination.
A good practice is to look at the vehicle logo. And don’t you forget to do it.
If the car has a Poder Popular [Local Government]) logo, talk about the
ongoing local council election; if the car belongs to Copextel [suppliers
of technical wares], make it clear they are your favorite brand; but if the car
has a CITMA [State Agency for Science and the Environment] logo, take a
deep breath, wait a few seconds and declare prophetically, “Planet Earth is a
living being, and Man with its reckless behavior is causing the destruction of
our beloved planet. Just think of the recent tsunamis in the Indian
Ocean. What a sad example!” If the driver didn’t totally understand your
statement, at least it will guarantee the next ride. ETECSA [Telephone
and Telecommunications Company] cars frequently give street hikers a ride. If
they stop for you, praise the extension of services that now allow you to
communicate with your uncle Joe who lives in a farm near The Middle of Nowhere.
There are many logo acronyms whose meanings are known by only a selected few. If
such is the case talk to the driver about noni [a fruit said to have over
a hundred curative qualities], about the properties of the poison of the blue
scorpion, or simply discuss the last topic in Pasaje a lo Desconocido [A
Step Into the Unknown - popular TV show].
Hitchhiking is an exercise that widens your circle of friends and consolidates
mutual feelings. My two marriages are proof of this. Certainly each person has
their own style and adds a personal touch when asking for a ride. And you, dear
driver, if someone comes near your car window, says ‘hello’ in a soft voice and
with a smile asks you, “Please, would you give me a ride?”, don’t say no. It is
probably me asking.
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CubaNews translation February 15, 2005
http://www.plenglish.com/article.asp?ID={971ACB95-5824-44F1-8032-106AE58AB221}&language=EN
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